Let's DIscuss Horse Manure Hacks

 Happy New Year and Friday the 13th!  What's new and exciting?  Welp, I finally found employment after 4 months of looking.  Talk about a soul sucking experience.  Should be starting in the next couple of weeks.  I can't wait to post my new job and a message on LinkedIn so I can count the number likes, and comments while showing I'm a grateful guy in the most cringiest way possible.

I did 25 days of the Easy Strength workout. The good news is it worked really well. On day 23 I pressed double 70's like they were a toy.  Workout went like this:

Double 70 lb. Deadlift 2 x 10

Double 70 lb. Front Squat 2 x 5

Double 70 lb. Row 2 x 5

Double 55 lb. Press 2 x 5

Double 70 lb. Swing 1 x 20

Ab roller or Double 70 Farmers carries.

I was rolling along nicely until.....Doomsday 25.  5th day of week 5.  17th rep of swings.  POP.  Out went my SI joint on the right pelvis.  My fault dropped my hips back too far like I was going to go balls deep on the thrust of the swing.  Too many reps, too heavy and too old.  4 trips in 2 weeks to the chiropractor, later, I'm all better.  

Been doing the Olympic 2.0 complex and hanging out at Planet Fitness.  

For shits and giggles, I've been listening to podcasts and watching YouTube from these fitness and life "gurus."  What a bunch of pontificating clowns.  Most became successful through multi-level marketing AKA pyramid schemes.  "Buy my program for $1000, and I can teach you how this hustle will get you a condo in Dubai, a Lotus and $20k /month...." The hustle porn and pictures of them holding a fob for a Chevrolet Impala standing next to a Ferrari are hilarious.  Who falls for this shit?  

Anyway, let's discuss a couple of hacks that are absolute horse manure.

Getting up at 5 AM to start your day if you don't have to.

I'm kind of an early riser.  When I worked in Boston and sponged off my parents, I would get up at 5, get to the gym at 5:30-5:40 in the AM.  I'd bang out a workout, shower and chug a chug toot toot into the sun along the Mass Pike. I was also 24, single with no responsibilities. I did like it and felt it gave me an edge.

In 2023, I work from home.  I've worked from home since 2014.  I don't NEED to get up and face a commute before I get to work.  I'm not an early starter anymore.  I like my 3 cups of coffee in bed or on the couch while I wake up and read a book or troll the internet.  

The nice part of working from home is waking up naturally without an alarm.  There are some "fitness inspirators" who get up at 4AM or 5AM and post it like it is a badge of honor. Which leads me to the question.  What about sleep?  Every day, more and more there are articles of the importance of sleep on health.  Some days you need more than others.  Why would you forcibly wake yourself up for no reason on a day when you need 9 hours just to photograph your clock and post it on the internet?  There are no bonus points for it. Example, Sunday into Monday I slept 8 and a half hours and woke up at 7:30 AM.  Monday night, went to the Celtics game, walked 11,000 steps, had a great dinner and dessert in the North End and a couple of cocktails.  Was home by 11. Went to sleep at 11:30. Slept until 8:40. My 20-year-old son, got up at 7:45 to work during semester break.  He said to me, "I was exhausted when I got up this morning." (after 8 hours of sleep)

I'm not saying getting up early is bad.  It's great as long as you get to bed early enough. But whether you get up at 5 or 7, it depends on how you spend those hours.  Sleep > Internet posts.  

Cold Showers

In 2014, I alternated between them and alternating cold/hot contrast for a month.  The good news was any aches or pains I had disappeared. I did them when it was 1 degree outside.  The bad news is, they are really awful.  I've done them since and have survived 3 or 4 days at a time.  However, in December the bride broke the shower head and I had to install a new one.  The one I chose provides a HIGH volume of water.  I listened to Win Hopf, did his breathing routine and jumped in.  It was the WORST experience bathing I ever had.  I could not catch my breath or hide from the water. I jumped out after 3 minutes.  My package looked like a field mouse and 6 hours later, my hands and feet were still cold. I took it at 4 PM vs. 5 AM. I can't imagine doing that first thing in the morning.  "Take a cold shower first thing in the morning, if you can survive that you can survive anything that is thrown your way!"  Fuck that. 

It may heighten your immune system (I'm good there and eat lots of green veggies), help with depression (I don't have it). No thank you. It's not going to make you perform better professionally.  It's a placebo for that.  I do like when I'm done feeling exhilarated and feeling warm when I get out. I have no problem jumping into an ocean on an 80-degree day when the water is 62, No thanks having it sprayed on me in the winter.  

Fasting

I'm all for fasting.  But only in a specific window.  16 hours without eating IS NOT FASTING in my opinion.  I don't believe you get the benefits until you pass the 20-hour mark.  For the record the Warrior Diet is an unsustainable joke as well.  Good luck on your 20-hour fast on day 3.  The window should be 22+ hours-48 hours.  Pick 22-24 hours 1-2 times a week or 36-40 hours once a week.  Fantastic benefits.  I also don't buy into the "completely heal yourself doing a 5 day fast."  Good luck being a vegetable due to a lack of energy as your kidneys are shutting down.  BUT YOU CREATE STEM CELLS AND AUTOPHAGY.  No one can identify when autophagy starts.  Or a dry fast for 24 hours without, water.  That means, no showers, washing your hands after a bowel movement or brushing your teeth either.  Those who do Ramadan swear by it, but when it's dark, they are pounding liquid and food. I think 36-40 hours once a week is a game changer for your health.  But it's a big mental game. 

Long Term Minimalist Exercise Programs

Everything works for 4-8 weeks.  Doing something is better than nothing.  Then your body adjusts and it's diminishing returns. Look at the Simple and Sinister. As a male, ten Turkish Getups and 100 one hand swings in 5 minutes with a 32 kg/70 lb. kettlebells is a noble goal.  However, trying to get to the 48 kg is not worth it.  You will get injured, or your form will be awful.  I saw a video of a kettlebell leader, who has blogged his workouts since the turn of the century do one hand swings with the 48kg.  The bell didn't get above his pecker. It was a shit swing.  A for effort, D- for execution. There is no "what the hell" effect.  Doing Turkish Getups will make you great at Turkish Getups.  Full disclosure, before I sold my 40kg/88lb. bells, I did the 10 getups in 10 minutes and 100 swings continuously with the Bulldog.  When I was young and stupid, I was young and stupid.

Don't fall for hacks.  Do the work, get your rest and most importantly, get your diet right.

ADDENDUM

Drinking a Gallon of Water a Day

What is up with the hydration culture?  My wife is a member of overhydration nation.  Carrying water bottles everywhere. To the gym, to the store, to the beach, everywhere.  I agree, water is important. Lot of benefits, but I feel it gets to the point of diminishing returns.  100 oz. or about 3 quarts is a sweet spot.  I hate having to pee every 30 minutes and it be completely clear.  If it's clear your hydrated. Also, you don't want to flush out your electrolytes. The one water hack I recommend is, drink a tall glass as soon as you wake up in the AM.  It will help thin your blood which has thickened while sleeping. 

In 75 Hard this is one of the tasks you must complete. Bloated stomach, having your bladder ready to explode 30 minutes away from the nearest bathroom while exercising outdoors.  Running with a full bladder is truly a miserable experience. I'll pass.  I guess I'll never be REAL AF. 

The Giant 1.1 and Thoughts on 75 Hard

Well it took me 6 weeks, but the Giant 1.1 program is in the books.  I did use the double 55's, but adjustments had to be made.  First, the timer.  I set it for 20 minutes instead of 30.  Secondly, I did not chase sets.  If I only did 5 sets, good enough. Third, I went on vacation for 8 days and did not have access to kettlebells.  I finally played my autoregulation card.  There is some real magic in 5 sets of 6-8.  It was hard and yes, I'm going to run 1.2.  The 9 rep days aren't going to be pretty, but I ran it with 45's so I know what I'm getting into.  Just going to go by feel, because 6 months from now, am I really going to care if I only got 45 reps vs 54?  The program was a success and didn't get injured.

Just after my last post, I finished the Ballistic Beatdown program.  One of my LEAST favorite from the More Kettlebell Muscle/Kettlebell Hard book. I dislike doing long sets of high pulls.  They are a grip killer and doing 10, followed by 10 double snatches is just not safe.  Especially for people who have just started using double kettlebells.  Days 2 and 3 are not fun in weeks 5 and 6.  Don't recommend.  

I will say the benefit of Ballistic Beatdown is the conditioning aspect, but I think there are better routes to take.  I was in Florida and running 5-6 miles at a clip.  Flat land and warm, but not hot weather.  Got 3 rounds of golf in and hit the ball great.  A good way to finish the season.

75 Hard is a program designed by Andy Frisella.  It's not a physical transformation challenge.  It's a "ironman" for the brain.  I have not finished it.  I have run it for 9 days twice and failed.  I chose to fail. When you fail, back to day 1.  Cue up the Price is Right, loss music....wha whu whu wa WAHHHHHHHH.

Here are the rules:

For 75 days,

1. Progress photo once a day.  

2. No alcohol

3. Follow a diet.  NO junk food or cheat meals

4. Two workouts per day, one MUST be outdoors 45 minutes each

5. Read 10 pages of a self development book

6. Drink one gallon of water a day.

No compromises, no excuses.

Sounds easy?  Let's evaluate:

Progress photo

I can't believe people fail on this.  Wake up, hit the head, wash your hands, grab your phone, shoot.  No one needs to see it.  We all look our age 1st thing. Laugh, delete.  Why do this?  So you can measure progress, but more importantly, it's about the details.  Simple tasks matter.

No alcohol

This one can be tough for a lot of people.  I have failed because I went to my friend's new restaurant and bar and had a couple of beers.  A great habit to be in, and your workouts are incredible.  I did drink alcohol down in Florida because I was on vacation.  It's a choice. Is having that beer going to help you attain your goals?  No.  Pretty black and white.  After 14 days, this gets easy.  My suggestion would be start by designating 1 day a week to drink for about 3-4 weeks.  No alcohol on the other 6 days to get out of the habit.

Diet

This is the hardest one for everyone.  You can pick ANY diet you want.  This could be as simple as eating 3 square meals a day.  No junk food.  I have read blogs and opinions from "nutritionists" that  says it can cause an unhealthy relationship with food.  I call HORSE MANURE.  Eat healthy, what's unhealthy about eating clean and not drinking?  I picked one meal a day twice a week, which is basically fasting for 22-23 hours.  Again, is eating potato chips helping me reach my goals?  Eat, just make sure it's good food.

Two Workouts, 45 minutes each

This one can be a challenge especially with the weather getting cold and unpredictable up here in the northeast.  First the good news, I have an 18 month old golden retriever who is the apple of my eye and she needs exercise.  A 3 mile walk is a win/win.  Indoors, piece of cake I have kettlebells and after the Giant, can do some ab work, farmer carries and 5 x 5 squats and rows.  

Why outdoors?  Conditions aren't always perfect in life.  These workouts also can't be run back to back.  Two workouts is a little extreme.  I would say if you need to recover.  yoga for one session and a walk for another.  Last week, I hit tennis balls to my dog, (I live in the center of a cul-de-sac) and did some kettlebell swings, squats and carries in my driveway for 45 minutes. Be creative.

Read 10 pages of a self improvement book

A great habit to practice instead of scrolling your phone over morning coffee.  I work for a habit change company, so I'm reading Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg to improve my craft.  

Habits = Motivation + Ability + Prompt.  What people don't realize is motivation AKA willpower is finite.  Ability and prompt aren't  To be successful at making good habits, focus on your ability and what prompts you.

Drink a gallon of water a day.

Ok, this is extreme.  Especially for women.  128 oz. is a LOT of water.  Yes you will be hydrated.  But if you're drinking 3 quarts which should be your minimum and are peeing clear, that should be good enough.  Substituting water for PM coffee or wine/beer is the theory behind it.  Here is the issue:  The outdoor workout.  There is nothing worse than trudging home the last 15 minutes when your bladder is about to explode, OR drinking it all at night and waking up every 2 hours.  Drink as much as you can early and be strategic about your outdoor workout.  This is the worst step of the program, and when I do it, I drink the gallon. 

I think this is genius if you understand the psychology behind it.  It can be extreme.  It is NOT a check the tasks off.  The tasks should be done with INTENT.  Everyone compromises with themselves in life.  This program teaches you not to compromise, to be your best even on days you don't feel it. It teaches you in business or life that conditions aren't always going to be perfect, but you do the right thing anyway.  Sandy Koufax one time said he only had his best pitching stuff 20% of the time.  But look at his numbers, he performed without it.  

I'm 0 for 2 so far.  However I have lost about 6 lb-7 lb. from vacation and did power through a 39 hour fast Monday vs. fasting twice.  

Even if you're not running 75 Hard, and ran this below, it's a really good blueprint for health and discipline. 

1. Eat a healthy diet

2. No/limited alcohol 1 day a week limit 3 units

3. Drink 3 quarts of water

4. Read a chapter, self improvement, non-fiction, Bible.  

5. One workout one walk

6. Take a photo once a week. 

Don't count the days. Just win today.  

For the most of this blog, I DO NOT provide progress reports.  I don't write about it unless I finish it.  I really don't like when people post on forums, and blogs how after 30 days how they're life has changed, yet fail 3 days later and never complete the program. 

No one wants to see progress photos of a soon to be 53 year old man with bed head anyway.  

Happy Thanksgiving